Breakup Recovery
Breakup Recovery – 6 Steps to a New You
A breakup for some people does not appear to be very serious, but for the greater majority, it is life changing. If you’ve had a relationship go bad recently, you probably are still hurting as a result. No matter how much misery a failed relationship may bring, you have to have a plan for a breakup recovery.
Getting over anything has to come in increments. You can’t expect to just wake up one morning and be healed and happy. The old saying, “Get some sleep. Everything will be better tomorrow,” isn’t totally true. To recover from an emotionally draining experience will require dedicated steps in the right direction.
Step 1.
If a lover dumps you, one of the first reactions is to feel that you in some way failed yourself and the relationship. A feeling of low self-esteem follows that reaction almost immediately. You wonder how others will view the situation, and if they will secretly laugh at how lame you are.
The first step is to block that kind of thinking and get a positive outlook on you. This will be hard to do at first, but no other steps in the process will be of any value until you convince yourself that even if you made mistakes in the union, you are not a bad person. You deserve to have a good life with someone who loves you. Remember things you have accomplished and people who have complimented you for any and every reason.
Step 2.
When you have begun to understand that you are important again, revisit the life you had with him or her. Dwell on the good things and push away the bad. Most importantly at this time, do not begin to pity yourself because the love affair is over, but rejoice that some good memories came from it.
This step is reflection and remembrance of only the happy parts of two people’s lives together. This is a way of realizing the end of something, just as going to a person’s funeral brings the reality of their death. The difference is that you will make this experience a happy one.
Step 3.
The real friends you have will always be there for you. The pretenders won’t be around when you are in a bad situation. Many times, it takes a bit of failure, grief, or financial loss to determine who your real friends are. Notice carefully how the people you associate with act after your breakup, and decide who the top friends are.
Spend time with those friends. If they want to talk about how bad you were treated or how sorry your former lover was, let them know right away that you aren’t going to do that. When they understand how you feel, then you can begin to have fun with each other and have new experiences.
Step 4.
Depression goes hand in hand with a breakup. Unless you hated the person you were with, you are going to be down and blue. Even though you have your mind back to clear thinking, the depression will still be there.
The two best treatments for depression are exercise and healthy eating. Start an exercise program that actually taxes your system. Make up your mind that you want to work out until you are tired, and then do it. When you eat, make sure your diet has plenty of protein, lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, and very little fat. Depressed people typically eat too much of the wrong foods and this leads to more depression. Don’t fall into that trap.
Step 5.
Many people will tell you to pamper yourself, lay around and watch movies, and take a break from life. That’s all right for a day or so after the breakup, but you do not want to let it continue into a new lifestyle. Your best plan is to busy yourself with meaningful diversions.
You may want to start a new hobby that will keep your mind busy, or join a club that does public service activities for the community. Don’t start some silly or meaningless regime just to be doing something. The wrong actions won’t give you peace of mind, so you will quickly become bored with them and quit. Meaningful is the key word here.
Step 6.
Everyone has a mate somewhere. You may have not met yours yet, or you just haven’t realized who that mate is. You are not the best looking, smartest, or richest person in the world, but you are important. Your perfect fit is out there somewhere, although you may doubt it now.
When you and your friends go out, there may be times when you will meet new people that may be attracted to you and you to them. Don’t be in any particular hurry to jump into a new love affair, but don’t close any doors. Be careful not to get into another situation like the one you just left.
A breakup recovery will be very difficult if you don’t have a plan based on positive steps. Remember the six steps to a new life:
* Create high self-esteem.
* Reflect and remember the good times.
* Bond with good friends.
* Exercise and eat healthy foods.
* Keep busy with meaningful activities.
* Slowly put yourself back on the market.
You can achieve a successful recovery after a breakup. You can do it, one step at a time.
