Moving On After A Breakup
Moving On After A Breakup – 9 Steps Toward A Healthy Recovery
Everything takes time. Unfortunately, after any painful event in your life, there is no “instant” recovery technique. There is no magic solution to make you feel better instantly. Into every life, a little rain must fall.
After a breakup, it is perfectly natural to go through a process similar to the loss of a loved one. The process does, however, involve accepting the fact the person you lost is gone and getting on with your life. Moving on after a breakup is easier for some than others, but it is necessary just the same.
Here are some steps that may help you in this painful process.
Step 1.
Do not isolate yourself. Friends and family are true assets during a difficult time. They will want to help; let them.
Step 2.
After the breakup, it is ok to let out your feelings. Actually, it is better to do so. Have a good cry, feel sorry for yourself, treat yourself to Chinese take-out food, and watch a good movie. Then end the pity party, and move on.
Step 3.
Don’t over analyze the situation. If it’s over, it’s over. Rehashing everything about the relationship repeatedly in your head is self-destructive. You’ll start blaming him/her and yourself. Think of the future. Memories of the past are important, but dwelling on them won’t help when you should be thinking in the “present” about the “future.”
Step 4.
Plan a short vacation or weekend outing with friends. Go to the beach, on a mountain hiking trip, or go camping. Getting away from things will be fun and healthy. It will take your mind off your troubles.
Step 5.
Don’t sit around planning ways to get revenge. That is also self-destructive. It is also a good way to burn bridges if there ever is a possibility of getting back together. Don’t count on the possibility of getting back together, though. Just keep in mind that if there is even the slightest chance, you could easily blow it with your anger and hasty actions.
Step 6.
When you feel that you are ready to start dating again, take it slow. You don’t want to jump into something too hastily that you’ll regret later. A respectable potential date should be more than willing to understand you are on the rebound if you explain. If he/she does not understand, maybe he/she is not the best candidate for a date.
Step 7.
Take time for yourself. Buy a new shirt. Get some new shoes. Have your hair done. Get a massage. You need to love yourself again before loving someone else. There is nothing wrong with pampering yourself a little, within reason of course.
Step 8.
Do not do things in anger or haste. Gathering all his/her belongings and having a bonfire is something you will most likely regret shortly thereafter. It is better simply to put them in a box or in a closet out of sight until a little time has passed, and you’ve had a little healing time.
Step 9.
Involve yourself in worthwhile constructive activities. Many organizations need volunteers for very worthy causes. Helping as a volunteer at one of these organizations will not only make you feel better about yourself. You’ll also meet new and interesting people, and help others at the same time.
Closing Comments
Coping will get easier and easier as days go by if you focus on the positive and not the negative. It is ok to grieve. Then you need to accept it, and regain control. You are stronger than you think. Moving on after a breakup is possible. Believe in yourself. Take control of your life. Remember what Clairee Belcher said in the movie, Steel Magnolias. “That, which does not kill us, makes us stronger.”
